
Tired of not connecting with your Clients?
In my last post I told you about my seven components to effective communication and I let you in on what I know is the be-all and end-all when it comes to connecting with a client or prospect - your intentions. (Go check it out if you have not already.)
I have had a few of you ask me to elaborate some more on the other components. I realize that you have heard some of these components before but maybe not in this context. The main focus of these components are to eliminate the many pointless road barriers of communication that can put many of your deals “on hold” leaving you with a lot of wasted time and unnecessary frustration. How many times have you been frustrated by a stale deal because you did not take the time to “get real” (in a professional and polite way obviously) and ask the questions that need to be asked. I see this happen in business all the time. We are too afraid that we will step on toes, cross the line, or to step out of our comfort zone that we avoid asking the questions that need to be asked. And many of the times you will not only get the answers you need, but you will end up creating better communication between you and your client!
So here are what I see are the Top Seven Ways To Avoid BS When Dealing With Clients:
1. Intention is the first and most critical communication skill we will discuss. Your intentions are more important than your techniques. People can sense your intentions. Good intentions, stated poorly, are always better received than bad intentions stated masterfully. Prospects always intuitively sense your intentions, which are the foundation to building or breaking their trust of you.
2. Asking for what you want is the second communication skill we will discuss. It is amazing how many salespeople don’t ask for what they want. Yet there are two major studies showing that, if you ask for what you want, most of the time you will get it.
3. Reflective listening is the third communication skill we will cover. Many people do this naturally. It is the ability to really listen to what someone is saying and repeat back to them what they said. Many salespeople, however, don’t practice reflective listening. Instead, they have a monologue going on inside their head while the prospect is talking, so they miss valuable information that the prospect tells them.
4. The fourth communication skill we will explore is Congruency. Congruency is the ability to listen beyond spoken words. It is the ability to observe the speaker’s tone of voice, word choices, and body language in order to hear what is being said and what is “not” being said. In other words, is the speaker fully expressing what is going on or holding back vital information that is needed to really help solve the problem? Being able to read non-verbal cues will tell you whether the speaker’s words are congruent with - or match - the speaker’s true thoughts and feelings.
5. The ability to listen without filtering is the fifth communication skill you should master. It is important not to apply your own subjective “filter” to what someone else is saying. If you don’t filter, you will be able to fully listen to what the prospect is saying without jumping to conclusions, passing judgment, or creating a “story” in your mind about what you think is going on.
6. Questioning style is the sixth communication skill we will look at. It involves the ability to determine which questioning approach will work best to help us get to the truth, and then to use it to get a clear understanding of the prospect’s situation. There are three different questioning styles that can be used, depending on the situation and what the prospect is saying.
7. How to have a difficult conversation is the last communication skill we will discuss. How many times have we heard the prospect say something that we felt was incorrect or wrong, but we left it alone because we didn’t want to cause trouble? Or how about when we accidentally misinformed a prospect about something that was critical, and we knew he or she would be angry when we called back to say we had made a mistake?
And remember some of these may not always get you the answers that you want to hear but they will undoubtedly get you the truth! I encourage you to go try it for a week. Next time you sense that something your client/prospect is saying is not what you think is going on - ask them. Do you want that big fat deal that is a perfect fit for you and your business? - go ask for it! But always remember, you have to have good intention or else none of these will work.
Let me know what worked and what didn’t. And let others know - you can stumble, digg, email this post and much more by using the share this link below.
Thanks and all the best,

Tags: asking for what you want, congruency, effective communication, filtering, having a difficult conversation, intentions, questioning style, reflective listening